“Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.” (Virginia Satir, U.S. family therapist and author)
How clear are your memories of adolescence? No matter how many memory vitamins you insist on taking, I’m willing to bet that your recollection is way less accurate than you think. We tend to have selective memories. This isn’t always a negative thing. You don’t want to remember that time when Marcus, the biggest kid on the playground, made you eat dirt. Or the incident where Mom humiliated you in front of the entire neighborhood.
That’s the funny thing about the transition from being a child to becoming a parent. You forget what it’s like. All those promises you made. You said you’d be different when it came time to raising your own. You promised to be understanding and patient. What happened? Let me tell you. Life happened. We are trapped in the curse of the Grown-up. But is it really a curse? Could it be that we’ve gotten wiser with age? Or are we sinking in the mire of lost innocence and truth?
Maybe the next time we get caught in a heated argument that involves slamming doors and shattered china we should make an effort to really hear what the youngster has to say. On the other hand, it might be simpler to ground him indefinitely. After all that was your good set of dishes.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
slnt trtmnt
“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.” (Oscar Wilde, writer 1854-1900)
Whether you like it or not, you depend on human interactions and other people’s opinions for your survival. The main reason solitary confinement is considered such a severe punishment is based on this premise. People can go mad from lack of human contact- emotional and physical.
Or perhaps it’s because they can’t deal with themselves and their reality.
Consider this; when was the last time you purposely spent time alone with yourself to…well, contemplate your life? For most of us the appreciation of solitude comes along with age and intelligence, and is usually hard earned.
To translate into a scenario that is more palatable to the modern day, envision your communication minus cell phone, twitter, Facebook, email, smart phone, Skype, etc.
Experts on human interaction are quite bothered by this. They recommend ‘unplugging’ for extended periods of time and paying more attention to live interactions. Although it has been recognized that too much of any one thing is destructive, I can’t say the average person is at fault for overdosing when it comes to technology. What these so-called experts have to take into account is that people adapt to their environments. What they are suggesting is that those who have been ‘infected’ remove themselves and make themselves different from their surroundings. They are contradicting themselves! We are told over and over to be normal and not to attract unnecessary attention to ourselves. We observe how people who are radically different are often condemned and doomed socially.
Personally, my sole connection to the outside world is a pre-paid cellular (archaic, yes I know) which under five people have access to. I have received much rebuke about this from people who haven’t the courage to call my land-line and complain that I am unreachable. I prefer it that way. But there are many valid reasons to be ‘plugged in’ and I respect that. Rather than establishing unreasonable guidelines to decrease electronic usage, a more effective solution might be to just raise an awareness of the damage that excess technology is causing. Skills such as spelling and use of quality vocabulary have been lost to writing in ‘text speak’ and monosyllables. People who you can interact with verbally and have a relatively intellectual conversation with are harder to come by. We find it exceedingly difficult to focus on just one (can you imagine?) task without getting distracted. This might seem too passive of an approach but the only way someone will consistently do something that is against their nature is if they want to.
Most of us desire more wholesome relationships and clearer communication with those who we care about. When all is said and done and your cards are laid out on the table I’ve got one question- why haven’t you signed off yet?
Whether you like it or not, you depend on human interactions and other people’s opinions for your survival. The main reason solitary confinement is considered such a severe punishment is based on this premise. People can go mad from lack of human contact- emotional and physical.
Or perhaps it’s because they can’t deal with themselves and their reality.
Consider this; when was the last time you purposely spent time alone with yourself to…well, contemplate your life? For most of us the appreciation of solitude comes along with age and intelligence, and is usually hard earned.
To translate into a scenario that is more palatable to the modern day, envision your communication minus cell phone, twitter, Facebook, email, smart phone, Skype, etc.
Experts on human interaction are quite bothered by this. They recommend ‘unplugging’ for extended periods of time and paying more attention to live interactions. Although it has been recognized that too much of any one thing is destructive, I can’t say the average person is at fault for overdosing when it comes to technology. What these so-called experts have to take into account is that people adapt to their environments. What they are suggesting is that those who have been ‘infected’ remove themselves and make themselves different from their surroundings. They are contradicting themselves! We are told over and over to be normal and not to attract unnecessary attention to ourselves. We observe how people who are radically different are often condemned and doomed socially.
Personally, my sole connection to the outside world is a pre-paid cellular (archaic, yes I know) which under five people have access to. I have received much rebuke about this from people who haven’t the courage to call my land-line and complain that I am unreachable. I prefer it that way. But there are many valid reasons to be ‘plugged in’ and I respect that. Rather than establishing unreasonable guidelines to decrease electronic usage, a more effective solution might be to just raise an awareness of the damage that excess technology is causing. Skills such as spelling and use of quality vocabulary have been lost to writing in ‘text speak’ and monosyllables. People who you can interact with verbally and have a relatively intellectual conversation with are harder to come by. We find it exceedingly difficult to focus on just one (can you imagine?) task without getting distracted. This might seem too passive of an approach but the only way someone will consistently do something that is against their nature is if they want to.
Most of us desire more wholesome relationships and clearer communication with those who we care about. When all is said and done and your cards are laid out on the table I’ve got one question- why haven’t you signed off yet?
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
eat your vegetables or no dessert
“In some circumstances, the refusal to be defeated is a refusal to be educated.” (Margaret Halsey, novelist 1910-1997)
Here’s a question. Is it really possible to force a person to do something against their will? It’s relatively common for one to put another person down in order to feel powerful. It may not even be a conscious decision, but essentially a large percentage of our actions are dedicated towards self-preservation and we all know that only the fittest survive.
What about when you’re forcing someone to do something that’s in their best interest? In cases such as taking a knife away from a child or trying to keep someone with hypothermia from falling asleep- you and your adversary’s wills are fundamentally one and the same. In situations when you’re arguing to convince someone of your way of thinking it’s turns into a power struggle. Taking into consideration that violence and physical strength aren’t being used as manipulators, the victor will be whoever has the mental stamina to hold on longer.
Mental endurance is a mixture of person’s conviction in his morals and values, arrogance, and stupidity. Being able to impose your will on others doesn’t necessarily have a positive connotation. Winning isn’t everything and admitting your wrong is arguably the best way to prove your intellectual supremacy.
I submit myself to reading your comments below.
Here’s a question. Is it really possible to force a person to do something against their will? It’s relatively common for one to put another person down in order to feel powerful. It may not even be a conscious decision, but essentially a large percentage of our actions are dedicated towards self-preservation and we all know that only the fittest survive.
What about when you’re forcing someone to do something that’s in their best interest? In cases such as taking a knife away from a child or trying to keep someone with hypothermia from falling asleep- you and your adversary’s wills are fundamentally one and the same. In situations when you’re arguing to convince someone of your way of thinking it’s turns into a power struggle. Taking into consideration that violence and physical strength aren’t being used as manipulators, the victor will be whoever has the mental stamina to hold on longer.
Mental endurance is a mixture of person’s conviction in his morals and values, arrogance, and stupidity. Being able to impose your will on others doesn’t necessarily have a positive connotation. Winning isn’t everything and admitting your wrong is arguably the best way to prove your intellectual supremacy.
I submit myself to reading your comments below.
Monday, July 18, 2011
bigfoot and chocolate rivers
“Modern technology / Owes ecology / An apology.” (Alan M. Eddison)
Do you know what your carbon footprint looked like this past year? That’s OK. Neither do I. How about your last paycheck? What did that look like? We tend to recall and pay attention to the things that have an immediate impact on us. One might be fooled into thinking that this is how we survive but in truth this is really a method of self-destruction, and it affects everyone differently. It’s hard to take the future into account when it’s so abstract, but I believe that everyone has at least enough imagination to paint a picture of the possible outcomes that smoking, over budgeting, careless remarks, outbursts of anger, or bullying may bring.
One of the best tools for life that we can give kids is to give them an understanding of the link between actions and the consequences that follow. They can’t comprehend what teasing and suicide have got to do with each other. Or how having excess candy can cause stomach pains- how could something so good lead to so much agony? I believe the world and its pleasures are here for us to take advantage of and at the same time the ‘candy’ is also there to test the boundaries we have hopefully set for ourselves.
There is no limit when it comes to comments.
Do you know what your carbon footprint looked like this past year? That’s OK. Neither do I. How about your last paycheck? What did that look like? We tend to recall and pay attention to the things that have an immediate impact on us. One might be fooled into thinking that this is how we survive but in truth this is really a method of self-destruction, and it affects everyone differently. It’s hard to take the future into account when it’s so abstract, but I believe that everyone has at least enough imagination to paint a picture of the possible outcomes that smoking, over budgeting, careless remarks, outbursts of anger, or bullying may bring.
One of the best tools for life that we can give kids is to give them an understanding of the link between actions and the consequences that follow. They can’t comprehend what teasing and suicide have got to do with each other. Or how having excess candy can cause stomach pains- how could something so good lead to so much agony? I believe the world and its pleasures are here for us to take advantage of and at the same time the ‘candy’ is also there to test the boundaries we have hopefully set for ourselves.
There is no limit when it comes to comments.
Friday, July 15, 2011
a bowl of cherries sans pits
“Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.” (Jean de la Bruyere, essayist and moralist 1645-1696)
If you were to add one thing to your daily activities what would it be? Personally I’d recommend laughing more often. This is not to say you should hire yourself out as a clown for your local circus. Nor am I referring to the purchase of silly joke books. What I’m talking about is using humor as a coping mechanism. There are those who wake up in the morning and dread whatever is forthcoming. They count the hours until they can crawl back into bed and slip into oblivion. With good reason. Life is tough. Disasters crop up weekly and there are depressing hardships that we face daily such as family conflicts, emotional issues, unemployment, and physical ailments. If we take everything that comes our way seriously life becomes Act lll of a Shakespearian tragedy.
But what would happen if we removed ourselves from the picture for even a moment, and injected ourselves with some humor (not to be confused with heroin) to ease the pain?
What do you think?
If you were to add one thing to your daily activities what would it be? Personally I’d recommend laughing more often. This is not to say you should hire yourself out as a clown for your local circus. Nor am I referring to the purchase of silly joke books. What I’m talking about is using humor as a coping mechanism. There are those who wake up in the morning and dread whatever is forthcoming. They count the hours until they can crawl back into bed and slip into oblivion. With good reason. Life is tough. Disasters crop up weekly and there are depressing hardships that we face daily such as family conflicts, emotional issues, unemployment, and physical ailments. If we take everything that comes our way seriously life becomes Act lll of a Shakespearian tragedy.
But what would happen if we removed ourselves from the picture for even a moment, and injected ourselves with some humor (not to be confused with heroin) to ease the pain?
What do you think?
Thursday, July 14, 2011
flotation devices
“Taxes are the price we pay for a civilized society.” (Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., US Supreme Court Justice)
Misnomers are quite common in this society. We assuage our guilty consciences by using language as a means to manipulate other people into thinking what we decide will keep them content. Humanity is funny that way. We’re so used to our routines that we forget to consider our motivation for what we do. What spurs us on? Is it about personal gain or protection of our ego? Your mother might have told you to think before you leap. It’s possible that she just didn’t want you to entertain yourself by trying to drive her station wagon into the neighbor’s pool. She also might’ve wanted her means of transportation to stay in one relatively dry piece. But regardless the saying has its merits.
Don’t lose sight of what you really want. It’s all right if you chose to persuade someone with your own interest in mind- I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. But force yourself to be aware of it so you can desist at your discretion and not unintentionally hurt someone you care about.
Misnomers are quite common in this society. We assuage our guilty consciences by using language as a means to manipulate other people into thinking what we decide will keep them content. Humanity is funny that way. We’re so used to our routines that we forget to consider our motivation for what we do. What spurs us on? Is it about personal gain or protection of our ego? Your mother might have told you to think before you leap. It’s possible that she just didn’t want you to entertain yourself by trying to drive her station wagon into the neighbor’s pool. She also might’ve wanted her means of transportation to stay in one relatively dry piece. But regardless the saying has its merits.
Don’t lose sight of what you really want. It’s all right if you chose to persuade someone with your own interest in mind- I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. But force yourself to be aware of it so you can desist at your discretion and not unintentionally hurt someone you care about.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
doctors and records
“If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.” (Thomas Szasz, author, professor of psychiatry)
Whether it’s a matter of committing suicide or running a marathon, talking to oneself can be a powerful motivational tool. You may think that family, friends, or circumstances are preventing you from getting what you really want out of life, but in reality you are your own worst enemy. Psychologists suggest that 90% of our self-talk is negative and self-defeating. Some people are born physically, emotionally, or educationally handicapped. Yet these are the people who tend to inspire others. They have every reason to collapse into themselves and spend their days tanning in self-pity. Disability affects 15-20% of every country’s population, and look what they have accomplished. They participate in Special Olympics, provide hope by defying medical predictions, and adjust in a world that doesn’t always cater to their needs.
Talking to yourself (so long as it’s not aloud) is an important contributing factor when it comes to personal achievements. Don’t let the constant chatter and running commentary in your head drown out your vision. Rather use it as a stepping stone to success.
Comments from your switchboard are welcome.
Whether it’s a matter of committing suicide or running a marathon, talking to oneself can be a powerful motivational tool. You may think that family, friends, or circumstances are preventing you from getting what you really want out of life, but in reality you are your own worst enemy. Psychologists suggest that 90% of our self-talk is negative and self-defeating. Some people are born physically, emotionally, or educationally handicapped. Yet these are the people who tend to inspire others. They have every reason to collapse into themselves and spend their days tanning in self-pity. Disability affects 15-20% of every country’s population, and look what they have accomplished. They participate in Special Olympics, provide hope by defying medical predictions, and adjust in a world that doesn’t always cater to their needs.
Talking to yourself (so long as it’s not aloud) is an important contributing factor when it comes to personal achievements. Don’t let the constant chatter and running commentary in your head drown out your vision. Rather use it as a stepping stone to success.
Comments from your switchboard are welcome.
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